One Roast to Fix Your Entire Website
Get brutally honest feedback that uncovers exactly why your site isn’t converting anyone.
All automated. All actionable. No sugar coating.
Sample Roast
Your CTA button hides like it's in witness protection.
Google called. They can't find you either.
Your hero section is more empty than my ex's promises.
How It Works
Enter your site
Drop your URL and brace yourself.
AI roasts it
Our AI tears your site apart (constructively).
Get actionable tips
Receive a punchy report with real solutions.
Why You Need This
Low traffic?
Your site might be invisible to search engines.
High bounce rate?
Visitors are leaving faster than your ex.
No conversions?
Your CTAs might be as effective as a chocolate teapot.
You need more than compliments. You need clarity.
What We Analyze
SEO & Page Speed
Is your site slower than a sloth on sleeping pills?
Mobile Responsiveness
Does your site look like it was designed by a potato?
CTA Effectiveness
Are your buttons as compelling as a wet noodle?
Design Consistency
Font looks like it time-traveled from 1998?
Accessibility
Is your site accessible to everyone or just the chosen few?
Conversion Leaks
Finding where your visitors are leaking away.
What People Are Saying
"Brutal but helpful. I cried, then I optimized."
"Finally, someone who tells it like it is. My site needed this tough love."
FAQ
Will it hurt my feelings?
Only a little. We're tough but fair.
Is it really AI?
Yes, trained to roast AND help. Like a tough-love mentor.
How long does it take?
About as long as it takes to make a coffee. Less time than your current bounce rate.
Ready to Get Roasted?
Your website needs this tough love. Don't wait until your competitors are eating your lunch.